Every Day I Write The Book

Photo: Michellerafter.com
Photo: Michellerafter.com

My background is writing.  It’s what I do. It is what I studied in school, it is how I soothe the demons, and though it is not how I identify myself to others, it is how I identify with myself. Adventures in parenting, observational skills and expat stories notwithstanding, one of the main reasons for starting the blog was to get myself back into the habit of writing after a long, very long, too long self-imposed hiatus.

I’ve loved writing the blog.  It is (nearly) instant gratification. A productive morning’s work yields a publishable piece (one hopes) and the feedback is there at your fingertips.  There is a built-in community which encourages you and to a degree, keeps you in check. It is incredibly satisfying to see your work shared among friends, on Facebook feeds, and by word of mouth. I am grateful and humbled whenever a post does particularly well, whenever it is shared among a group, or when someone I don’t know very well seeks me out to talk to me about it. But….

While I am more than happy to identify myself as a blogger, as the writer of a blog, I also have carried around with me, for most of my life, a story.  There have been times in my life when I thought the story was ready to be written and sometimes bit and pieces were. Sometimes those pieces have been mined and picked over and used for other things. Sometimes the bits have sat in notebooks or on computer disks, in filing cabinets buried in the back of my memory, in stories that I tell. Sometimes I catch a ghost of a whisper. But….

A room, or part of a room, of my own
A room, or part of a room, of my own

Life gets in the way. Marriage and children get in the way. Jobs and moves.  Death gets in the way. The voices maintain radio silence. But….

Recently my personal planets have aligned. I am blessed with the time to write. I am blessed with if not a room, a space of my own to write. I have worked hard to retrain my fingers, retrain my brain, to blinker and blinder the process enough to get the words down. I have, in less eloquent terms, sat my ass on the chair to write.

Which is why I’m taking the next few months to write the story I’ve carried with me all this time. It’s not my story, it’s not anyone’s story, it is just a story.  There is nothing special about it, it is not an important story or an epic one, nor is it a life changing story.  But it is the one in me. I owe it to myself to try one last time to get it down. If I can’t manage it now, with my orbits in synch, it’s not going to happen. The world won’t end if it doesn’t happen, but if I walk away knowing I gave it my best, I can stop carrying it around like a stone weight in my heart. And if it does? Well, then I can move on to the next story.

So now, every day I write ‘the book’.  (I do love a clever, pun of a title). I’m using the last eighteen months of blog writing as basic training and putting in three hours a day. It’s going well. I’ve got two solid chapters that I am happy with. They’re not perfect, they need polishing, but they are there. At some point further along I will need to turn it over to someone else, someone who doesn’t know me or isn’t afraid to make me cry who can point out the things I am too close to see, but overall I am happy with what is there, what is growing, what is happening on the page.

So what have I been doing for three hours a day, every day? I’ve chosen two small examples to share, mostly because I’m excited by them (and yes, probably because there is a teensy part of me that craves validation ) but also as proof positive that putting in the time, putting the ass in the chair does indeed pay off.

I can only hope that you find them as worthwhile reading as I have writing them.

Not as romantic as a typewriter, but far more efficient.
Not as romantic as a typewriter, but far more efficient.

From Chapter One:

At night, before we fell asleep, my father would sing-song the myth of creation to us. It was his lullaby, a security blanket woven of grand words and unpronounceable names we couldn’t remember from one day to the next.  It was there for us to wrap ourselves up in, to curl up into when we were having trouble settling down into the night.  Instead of counting sheep, or dreaming of broken boughs and splintered cradles, we fell asleep to an impossible landscape of gods and goddesses. Within our dreams, immersed in the impossible dark of those childhood nights, we relived those stories of petty jealousies and vengeful plots, of unlikely heroes and devoted wives.  Our nightmares were those of quiet creatures and half-beasts, our un-conscious a labyrinth filled with myth and monster, our dreams filled with love stories spilling over into other worlds.

“In the beginning, there was Chaos.  Out of Chaos came Night and the Unknowable Place where Death lived.  Then came Love.  Once there was Love, there was Light and Day.  Once there was Light and Day, there was the Earth.  And then, there was Penelope.”

and from Chapter Two:

The boy’s mom had a sickness, that’s what they told him. It was somewhere inside, somewhere deep. It wasn’t a sickness you could see, like a broken leg or a black eye, it wasn’t even a sickness that could be fixed by slicing her open and scooping it out like they did with Slow Sam’s father who always showed them the raised scars that crisscrossed his chest like a treasure map. No, this sickness was in her head, deep within the cracks and crevices of her brain. Something in there got twisted sometimes, kinked up like a garden hose, turned around and upside down. It is slow and cumbersome, that kind of sickness. It is sneaky and steadfast, meandering its way around, looking for a way in; but once it finds a foothold, it is hard to stop.

The boy’s father explained it by saying his mother had a sadness in her blood, a weeping that pushed through her body with each opening and closing of the valves of her heart. Every time her heart beat, it allowed a little more sadness into her veins, until one day there was so much sadness in her that everything else was swallowed by it. There was nothing else left. 

 

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19 thoughts on “Every Day I Write The Book

  1. Nadia February 26, 2014 / 1:50 pm

    What an awesome opportunity! I love the excerpts… From everything I’ve read from you, excerpts included, I’d buy your book one day. Does this mean we will not be seeing you around on the blogosphere for a while?

    Like

    • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 2:08 pm

      Nadia, you are too kind. (I love you, thank you). As I just commented to a friend, when this book is done, I am going to treat it like the girl scout cookies. I will hold you all to a number of boxes and you will be forced to buy them or make a little girl cry. In this case, of course, a grown woman. As for the blog, I will definitely be cutting way back, but would like to keep my toes in the water. It is too gratifying to give up all together, as witnessed by this very post. Thanks again. D

      Like

  2. lexborgia February 26, 2014 / 4:01 pm

    About time. Hope it unfolds in a very pleasing way. Cheers.

    Like

    • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 5:33 pm

      A pleasing way??? Thank you, as always for the support. I will admit curiosity as to what a pleasing way might entail. Care to enlighten?

      Like

      • lexborgia February 26, 2014 / 6:19 pm

        As you like it; in a way/form that pleases you; the way you imagine. My German environment often leaves my English in a twist, as you’ve noticed on several occasions. Sorry.

        Like

      • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 6:23 pm

        Sigh, don’t be sorry! It sounded very formal, I’m not used to formal from you. I thought you were mad at me or something ;-).

        Like

      • lexborgia February 26, 2014 / 6:37 pm

        I’m never mad (or annoyed) at you – don’t go there.

        Like

  3. Twindaddy February 26, 2014 / 4:02 pm

    Love it, Dina. I hope you’re able to finish it. You definitely have the talent for this.

    Like

    • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 5:34 pm

      Thank you. And thank you, and thank you again. Sometimes I think these things are more about willpower than anything else!

      Like

      • Twindaddy February 26, 2014 / 5:45 pm

        That and having faith and confidence in yourself.

        Like

  4. NotAPunkRocker February 26, 2014 / 4:50 pm

    I’m excited to see where this goes. I’m glad you have the opportunity to find out… Write on!

    Like

    • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 5:35 pm

      Sheena, thank you. I’m excited too. Talk to me in a few weeks when I’ve hit a wall and encourage me then. Please? 😉

      Like

      • NotAPunkRocker February 26, 2014 / 7:41 pm

        I’ll be happy to cheer you on! 🙂

        Like

  5. El Guapo February 26, 2014 / 6:55 pm

    Fantastic! Congratulations on sitting down and starting.
    Looking forward to the finished novel.

    Like

    • dhonour February 26, 2014 / 8:28 pm

      Thanks! The ass in the chair bit is definitely the toughest…well, and writing. It’s easy to sit and eat peanut m&ms and read People magazine online….thank you for the support!

      Like

  6. Rup February 27, 2014 / 2:12 am

    Intriguing start to the book. First chapter seems in the style of a Hindu epic eg. The Ramayana and the second in the style of Salman Rushdie’s “Midnight Children”. Love them both so look forward to more. Keep it up!

    Like

    • dhonour February 28, 2014 / 10:13 pm

      Greek mythology, Rup. I’m sad to say I’ve never read Salman Rushdie, but also a little glad that I haven’t and unconsciously channeled his style! But thank you for the high praise. Now, if only I could write 300 pages of that I’d be all set….

      Like

  7. jessmittens February 27, 2014 / 5:59 am

    I think you can tell that you’ll love a book if you enjoy reading the story from the very first sentence. Some books take a while to get into, from the looks of things – yours does not. I’d read more.

    Like

    • dhonour February 28, 2014 / 10:14 pm

      Jess, thank you so much. I struggled for a long time with ‘how’ to start. In fact, the whole first chapter is an ode to starting at the beginning really..who knows if in the end it will stay put, but it was necessary to get me going, if that makes sense. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and then to comment.

      Like

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