1. You will know and respect the difference between a backhoe and a front loader.
2. You will start to think “Mom” tattoos aren’t so bad after all.
3. You will compare them to animals as in, “I need to take them outside and run them like dogs.”
4. You will trade tips about the best way to get the cat-piss smell out of of football (soccer) boots.
5. You will spend more on Lego then you ever thought possible.
6. You will have a weapons receptacle.
7. At least once you will have to explain why your son got his testicles out in public.
9. You will secretly laugh when those formerly quiet girls turn into moody adolescents and your teen boy is happy with some Axe aerosol and the key to the pantry.
10. You will fret about their genitalia.
11. You’ll start to actually care about the Star Wars universe.
12. You will learn 99 words for testicles, and nuts ain’t one.
13. You will dust around collections of bottle caps, rocks and elastic bands.
14. You will be answered in burps.
15. You will watch him make a gun out of a sandwich.
16. You will utter a phrase like “I don’t think your penis is supposed to do that.”
17. You’ll be surprised at how quickly his feet outgrow yours.
19. It’s not fun until someone gets hurt.
20. Every time you hear “a son is only a son until he takes a wife” your heart breaks just a little bit.