Oh, Boy!

d-corson-1950s-2-juvenile-boys-in-cowboy-hat-and-shirts-playing-ukulele-and-singing-mouth-open-wide20 Surprising Things About Having Boys

1. You will know and respect the difference between a backhoe and a front loader. 

2. You will start to think “Mom” tattoos aren’t so bad after all.

3. You will compare them to animals as in, “I need to take them outside and run them like dogs.”

4. You will trade tips about the best way to get the cat-piss smell out of of football (soccer) boots.

5. You will spend more on Lego then you ever thought possible.

6. You will have a weapons receptacle.

7. At least once you will have to explain why your son got his testicles out in public.

8. You will jealously watch your friends of girls chat over lattes while their daughters quietly color and sew and make rainbow loom bracelets.boy

9. You will secretly laugh when those formerly quiet girls turn into moody adolescents and your teen boy is happy with some Axe aerosol and the key to the pantry.

10. You will fret about their genitalia.

11. You’ll start to actually care about the Star Wars universe.

12. You will learn 99 words for testicles, and nuts ain’t one.

13. You will dust around collections of bottle caps, rocks and elastic bands.

14. You will be answered in burps.

15. You will watch him make a gun out of a sandwich.

16. You will utter a phrase like “I don’t think your penis is supposed to do that.”

17. You’ll be surprised at how quickly his feet outgrow yours.

article-0-19151548000005DC-498_468x36718. You will learn that everything is a competition.

19. It’s not fun until someone gets hurt.

20. Every time you hear “a son is only a son until he takes a wife” your heart breaks just a little bit. 

14 Comments Add yours

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Right on, especially with 3 and 9!

    I think 5 and 11 would have happened with my offspring regardless of gender, being the not-always-girly-girl that I am 😀


    1. Dina Honour says:

      Fair enough…but seriously, the amount of cash we’ve dropped on Lego is rather astounding. And..there are four super excited family members for the new Star Wars movie coming this Christmas….

      Liked by 1 person

  2. realophile says:

    oh my, yes. hilarious. what a great list!! my 3 prove every item correct 🙂


    1. Dina Honour says:

      Wouldn’t trade ’em for the world though!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Deirdre Gallagher says:

    When I saw #8, I was thinking up a response. . .then I saw #9 and you nailed it!


    1. Dina Honour says:

      I’m counting on it!


  4. Melanie says:

    My son is 5. Mostly I’ve only had to learn to accept 3, 5, 6, & 14. But he has a lifetime to train me on the others. 99 words for testicles? Really?! I guess that’s what all this fart talk now is preparing me for.


    1. Dina Honour says:

      Well, maybe only 80 words ;-). But for two kids who haven’t gone through puberty yet, they sure seem to talk about them a lot. Oh and the fart talk never goes away 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sarah M says:

    Do you understand where this boy-fixation with war games comes from? In the 80s there was a lot of ideas about not giving boys toy guns to play with. So they just found sticks to use as pretend guns instead.
    We try to pretend that little boys and girls are the same but it is different parenting boys.


    1. Dina Honour says:

      It’s true. I draw the line at realistic looking automatic weapons, but we are full of Nerf guns and light sabers and maces and various other implements of torture. I think it comes from a place of peace and getting along, but you are right, trying to pretend that some (not all) boys aren’t going to pick up a stick or a sandwich or a rock and pretend it’s a weapon is an exercise in frustration.


  6. Sinead says:

    I can relate to all of these – also, does anyone have any REAL advice about #4? I have 2 lovely new pair of football boots in the house at the moment… and i’m dreading them being worn!


    1. Dina Honour says:

      Nope. Not me. Still all smell of cat piss!


  7. RupLB says:

    Only yesterday was T demonstrating the stretchability of his penis in the shower… And as for Star Wars, we’re all in!


    1. Dina Honour says:

      There used to be an off Broadway show called Puppetry of the Penis. I think I live that show.


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