The War on Common Sense

Guys..it's a cup.
Guys..it’s a cup.

I got back from a weekend with friends to find parts of the American populace worked up into a hazelnut froth over a….coffee cup. That’s right. Not guns or abortion or marriage equality. Not Planned Parenthood or Obama’s birth certificate or even the U.N.’s secret peacekeeping mission in Texas.

A coffee cup.

Now, I’m worthy of some pretty spectacular mental gymnastics when I’m stretching to prove a point. I have, on more than 743 occasions, jumped to a conclusion. But…a coffee cup??

Did Susie Q. Public go into her local Starbucks, order her usual venti dodecahedron mocha latte latte chocolat-é with extra skim froth milk and walk out with her red cup convinced Starbucks had declared a war on Christmas with a….cup?

Did Joe Q. Plumber pop in for a quick grande double shot and uncover the Great Starbucks Christmas Conspiracy?

Is there some Da Vinci code type thing going on that I’m just not getting? Because to me the logic on this one goes something like this:

Starbucks holiday cup is to war on Christmas like

A. Common sense is to what the fuck?
B. For real? is to Get a grip
C. Seriously? is to Surely there are more important things to focus on?
D. All of the above

The last time I checked, red wasn’t a Hanukkah color. Or Diwali. Traditional Kwanza colors include red, but also green, black and often yellow. You know which winter holiday is most often associated with red?

Ding, ding, we have a winner!

Yet Susie takes it to Twitter: Starbucks is anti-Christian! Their holiday cup is red! Obviously Starbucks doesn’t care about its Christmas celebrating customer base! Demand a boycott! #waronchristmas #nomoreventimochalattechinosforthischristian

And Joe takes it to Facebook: Starbucks hates Christians, otherwise they’d bring back the polar bears and snowflakes! It’s just another example of pandering to the political correctness machine. Deciding to do away with cute little snowmen is only speeding up the pussification of America. Starbucks just lost my business! Like if you agree!

A coffee cup?
A coffee cup?

I’m sure the global Inuit population would be surprised to find out that reindeer are the exclusive symbol of the reason for the season. Snowflakes too. Don’t forget the snowmen. Those cheery corn-cobbed souls are clearly designed to represent the birth of the baby Jesus.

Yet those are the ‘Christmas icons’ that decorated Starbucks cups in the past. People are outraged that their cups don’t have polar bears and snowmen on them. Hot milk frothing at the mouth angry. And yet..

It’s a cup.

A cup.

A cup, for House Blend’s Sake!

Time Magazine is addressing the issue. CNN is covering it. Even a potential presidential candidate is taking the time to address the color of a take-out coffee cup.

Have people lost their minds?

Oh right. The war on Christmas. That old chestnut roasting on an open fire.

Thing is, there are plenty of wars being fought in the US right now. The one over women’s bodies and reproductive rights. The one over race. Guns. Health Care. Terrorism. You don’t hear much about the war on drugs anymore, but it’s still there. And yet every year I have to hear the craziness about the war on Christmas.

Starbucks has not declared war on Christmas or war on Christians or even non-Christians who celebrate a more secular version of the holiday.

You know how I know? Because Starbucks is not stopping anyone from celebrating Christmas. Just like Target isn’t stopping anyone buying Tonka trucks or Barbies. Just like eating rainbow-colored Doritos isn’t going to make you gay.

The color of a take-out coffee cup has no bearing whatsoever on someone’s right to celebrate the religious holiday of their choice or wish someone a Merry Christmas or Happy Festivus if they so choose.

Because it’s a cup.

Seriously?
Seriously?

Wishing someone an inclusive ‘Happy Holidays’ when you don’t know what, if any, holiday someone celebrates? That’s called being inclusive, it’s not dropping bombs on Christianity. Sending out a card wishing someone well? That’s called being polite, being kind. It’s not setting fire to the ideals of one group. Getting upset that someone didn’t wish you a specific ‘Merry Christmas’ because that’s the holiday you celebrate? That’s just being an asshole. Going ballistic over a coffee cup?

Well, that’s just plain cuckoo for coco-nutty lattes.

If and when buying a take-out vente pumpkin spice cappuccino results in the forfeiture of celebrating the religious holiday of choice, come find me. I’ll happily rant in their corner.

Until then, let’s focus on the war on common sense, which we seem to be losing at an alarming rate.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “The War on Common Sense

  1. Elyse November 10, 2015 / 9:55 pm

    There are far too many people with time on their hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jennifer November 11, 2015 / 12:00 am

    My thoughts, exactly! How the heck do you get this all down on “paper”!? As usual a great read…made me laugh 🙂

    Like

    • Dina Honour November 11, 2015 / 9:49 am

      Sometimes I think if you don’t laugh you have to cry about it all it’s so ridiculous!

      Like

  3. urbanmanusa November 11, 2015 / 12:46 am

    E. It’s a war on Christmas.

    You let traditionally festive Christmas cups go away, replaced with soulless ‘seasonal’ fare, its only the first step. The proverbial slippery slope. What’s next? Santa shaves his beard, loses weight, and wears khakis? No egg nog? No reindeer with a red nose? No elves working in sweat shop conditions? No dead tree in the living room? No Uncle Ed getting drunk and hurling in the fireplace? Ye gods!

    Unequivocally outrageous. Blasphemy. If there ain’t a snowflake, bell, tree or snowman on the outside of the cup, my $8.75 Venti Peppermint Mocha With A Cranberry Twist 675 Calorie Hot Chocolate (with two pumps vanilla creamer) will have no spiritual meaning and offer me no joy. Red and green is not enough! Sign the petitions. Join the boycotts. March in the streets.

    Don’t let Christmas become that thing we used to do. I need my lords a-leaping. My maids a-milking. My Starbucks Christmas cup.

    Write your elected officials. Save the world. Thank you, Peace, and God bless America.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Polysyllabic Profundities November 11, 2015 / 3:17 am

    Amen to this post….are there not far greater issues we should be spending time discussing?? What happened to us as a society of intelligent people??

    Like

    • Dina Honour November 11, 2015 / 9:50 am

      I don’t know. It’s very worrying though. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they are hiding behind some metaphorical door to jump out and surprise the crazies on election day.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amanda Afield November 11, 2015 / 9:31 am

    I agree so much. I don’t even know how this became an issue!!

    Like

    • Dina Honour November 11, 2015 / 9:51 am

      Right? As if the ridiculous Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas debate every year isn’t bad enough!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. doublewhirler November 13, 2015 / 4:57 am

    You had me at peacekeeping in Texas – I’ll send for you when I’ve established base camp in Austin. X

    Like

    • Dina Honour November 13, 2015 / 2:05 pm

      I don’t know. Texas? What else is on offer these days? ;-). Just kidding. I love cowboy boots!

      Liked by 1 person

      • doublewhirler November 13, 2015 / 7:58 pm

        I know, a little line dancing, tequila and hats!! Meanwhile we’re still trying to incite the North Island and South Island into a conflict, but everyone’s so nice down there…

        Like

  7. Melanie November 13, 2015 / 11:58 pm

    You are so funny!

    I’m in the “I don’t care what color the cup is” camp. Not because I don’t care, even though I don’t, but because I don’t drink Starbucks. I think their coffee tastes like warmed up dung and it costs way too much.

    Like

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