You Might Be an Expat If…..Part II

Headache? Sweating? Do you understand??
Headache? Sweating? Do you understand??

You speak menu language; just enough of your host country’s language to read and order restaurant basics.

You know there’s a big difference between “live” and “from”.

You have to Google translate cuts of meat.

You can’t read your own mail.

You’ve used sign language in an emergency room to describe symptoms.

You have friends from one country who have independently become friends with a friend from another.

Your children can’t read or write in their mother tongue.

You accept you’re probably being overcharged for utilities because you can’t figure out the bill.

You hope that “just the ends” translates when you’re sitting at the hairdresser; alternatively

You only get your hair cut once a year when you travel home because you’ve had a traumatic experience.

You’ve incorporated vocabulary from the places you’ve lived into your everyday speech. Panaiamou? Soo-pah!

Perhaps blow-out translates differently here….
Perhaps blow-out translates differently here….

You need a spreadsheet to keep track of which countries your kids had which vaccination in.

You start every phone call with “Do you speak English? (or the equivalent).

You’ve done it at least once when you’ve been in your home country.

You have mailing addresses on more than one continent because…

you have credit cards in different currencies because….

you have accounts at more than one Amazon.

Your kids fluently speak a language not spoken at home, by either parent or

they have an accent that doesn’t belong to either parent and/or

they are able to seamlessly switch between accents depending on who they’ve hung out with that day.

I don't remember where I had the MMR. I don't remember!
I don’t remember where I had the MMR. I don’t remember!

You have several vpns, at least 2 Netflix accounts and an Apple TV, just so you can watch your shows.

You have to explain why there is a letter in your name that doesn’t exist in the alphabet where you are currently living.

You get homesick for more than one home.


For Part I: You Might Be an Expat If….








10 Comments Add yours

  1. pinklightsabre says:

    This is crisp. Throw in a dash of Lidl or something if you can. Toasting you here from my small plot of earth, in Baden-Württemburg. To a full moon, regardless the language.


    1. Dina Honour says:

      Right back at you with my licorice/fennel tea. I could never get into Lidl, inevitably they are always lacking some key ingredient to the meal I’m planning. Mustard. Bread. Diced tomatoes. You are back in Germany then–how much longer is the proposed stay out of the US? Have you timed it so that you don’t have to be back for the circus in November?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pinklightsabre says:

        Well, I understand now Lidl is kind of uncool even though from previous exchanges I bet you’d be happy for one with the limited options you have where you are. We have Green Party friends who don’t shop these corporate stores but we find all of it novel because we’re kind of tourists still, heading back home late April just in time for the election shit show. 10 weeks to go, still a good spread of time I’m telling myself. Sleeping in tomorrow, for example!


  2. aviets says:

    Wow, so many things I would never have thought of!


    1. Dina Honour says:

      This one was prompted by me yet again, staring at our electricity bill for 10 minutes all the while realizing I was never going to understand any of it…


  3. RIght up there with deciphering the power bill is figuring out how to get it paid. I think my kids would say “You don`t tell people the places you`ve lived because you don`t want them to ask, `how do you say…… in (insert language here)`”


    1. Dina Honour says:

      So, can you say “Screw you, electricity board!!” in Japanese? ;-). I can’t say much, so really it’s no surprise I can’t read my bills!


  4. Cherry says:

    “You only get your hair cut once a year when you travel home because you’ve had a traumatic experience.” Haha
    🙂 Look at me when we meet … at the usual place

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your Cockatoo swears in more than one language…I know unique but mine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dina Honour says:

      That is a GREAT one. And also the problem with guinea pigs….

      Liked by 1 person

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