Boy Talk

41fa258d065f403b73adb22304afbfadPew! Pew! Pew!
There was this creeper, Steve, pew! pew!
Kksssshhhh Kksssshhhh Nnnnnnnnnn
Share the light sabers!

Mom! Mom!
I want the Modulus Combat Rambo Destroyer of Empries
What is that?
A Nerf gun.

So, you mod it, right?
Where’s the light saber? The double one?
Did you check in the weapons box?
(Oh my God. We have a weapons box.)

How do you play?
First you….tenthly you have to….
But if you get to base after the Manhunter sees you and you touch the tip of you nose with your elbow and the moon is in Aquarius, then the other team has to start

I just need five more, five more minutes
next level, next screen
Ping! Elastic band
Crack! No sticks in the house!

Ninjago full potential Nerf Lego
Get off your brother!
Ugh, he farted in my face!
Machine gun rat-at-tat86989b1efddfa6a71ef64b96044bcd15

I was first! No, I was first! No, you didn’t follow the rule!
Which rule?
Rule 502 Codicil 9a of the Boy Bylaw
Every rule must have six equal and opposite rules

Thunk, thump
He kneed me in the balls!
Nuts! Balls!
Can my Playmobil knights storm the gingerbread house?

Assassin Predator pew! pew!
How do I get the top of the Nerf bullet out of my nose??!?
Scratch through the Lego bin
Vroom! Crash! Did you read Wimpy Kid?

Iron Man.
No way. Thor.
Are you kidding?
Captain America.

Rex, Fox, Gree, Cody
Do you craft a mine? Mine a craft?
Where is my rock? The one I got last year?
Swafff….thunk! Ouch! Mom!

Two Boys Play "Cowboys and Indians"Chug, chug, Thomas across the floor
What do my testicles smell like?
Toby! He’s the cheeky one!
Dun Dun Dun Bum Da Dun Bum Da Dun

Use the force, Mom! Use the Force
Crash! It wasn’t me!
Belch. Do or do not. There is no try.
Stop playing with your penis!

Don’t hit your brother with the mace!
It’s in the weapons box, I told you!
I don’t care who is playing Call of Duty.
Don’t point that thing at me!

Is it bedtime yet??

 

Many thank to Weapon Onomatopoeia. Who knew?

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7 thoughts on “Boy Talk

  1. Marissa Bergen March 29, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Wow, I have one of each and I thought it was bad. I’m counting my blessings!

    Like

    • Dina Honour March 29, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Well, you probably have to add in all the My Pretty Pony stuff in there. I figure it doubles the amount of small pieces in your house to have one one each!

      Like

      • Marissa Bergen March 29, 2016 / 10:19 pm

        Oh Dina, I hate small pieces! I despise small pieces! I avoid small pieces like the plague! Thankfully my son is on to video games.

        Like

  2. Anonymous March 29, 2016 / 8:30 pm

    Boy you had a hard day!

    Like

    • Dina Honour March 29, 2016 / 8:31 pm

      Lol. That’s not a day. That’s the last 11 years!! 😉

      Like

    • Dina Honour March 30, 2016 / 10:18 am

      There are several times in these blog pages where I have likened mothering boys to Jane Goodall/Dian Fossey–studying a different species in its natural habitat and simply taking notes…:-)

      Liked by 1 person

Talk to me, Goose.

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