My kids, like most, have memories like a steel trap.
Remember that time you promised us ice cream and then we didn’t get any?
You mean the time your brother was running 104 temperature and we were trying to get him to the hospital, that time???
I dunno, maybe. But you still owe us an ice cream!
But the memories they keep, the ones that get caught in their young traps? They tend to be highly selective.
For instance, they don’t remember the seven hundred and sixty-two times I asked them to get their socks on, They only remember when I screamed at them to get their f**king socks on right this goddamn minute.
See? Selective memories.
Your kids have them too. They won’t remember all the mushy- gushy kisses, they’ll remember–and tell everyone who will listen– about the time you accidentally elbowed them on your way to the toilet to barf.
They won’t remember all the times you told them you loved them, but you can be damn sure they’ll remember the one time you threatened to sell them on eBay.
They won’t remember the mom magic that helps you keep track of who likes hard-boiled eggs and who likes scrambled, who likes their pasta with pesto and who prefers it with butter, who likes their carrots peeled and who doesn’t. What will they remember? The one time you put cucumber in the lunch box of the kid who doesn’t like cucumber as if you were trying.to.poison.him.
They won’t remember all the times you stayed up all night, not to get lucky, but to obsessively check their foreheads. They’ll remember the one time you were out to dinner and they threw up on the babysitter.
Remember that time, Mom? The time when you were out and I got sick all over the babysitter? Remember??
They won’t remember the 683, 909 calm and rational explanations, but they’ll remember the one time you lost your shit and threw a cup across the room.
They won’t remember the times you got up early to make scrambled eggs for breakfast on a school day. They’ll only remember the time you bought the bread with the seeds. You know. The one they hate.
No remembrance of time past, the hours spent pushing swings, spotting their little bodies climbing up the slide, zooming cars around on the floor. Nope. They will remember all the times they were so bored, Mom!
They won’t remember the 10,000 meals you cooked, the ones they gobbled up. What will they remember? The ones they hated.
Out of 5,493 loads of laundry, the only one they’ll remember is the one when you shrank their hoodie in the dryer.
They won’t remember the times you pretended to be interested in play by play Pokemon or Minecraft stories. They’ll remember the time you shushed them because they were about to announce who was eliminated on Master Chef.
They won’t remember the scenery on the way to the National Park, or the $3,498 you spent on admissions. They’ll remember the way the ketchup at Burger King squirted on the table.
They won’t remember the 7,930 toys you bought them over the course of a lifetime, the 15,000 bits of Lego, the Barbie shoes you glued back together. They’ll fixate on the Barbie Dream House they never got.
Oh wait, that was me…
They won’t remember the blood, the sweat, or the tears. But the yelling, the screaming, the swears? It’s the stuff of legend. The stuff of therapy, of memoir, of blogs.
It’s all good. I may not remember why I opened the fridge, or what I came into the room to get, but all this stuff? Stored for life..or at least until I have grandkids on my side.
Wine and Cheese (Doodles) 
I enjoyed the truthful humour of this post 🙂 Words of encouragement from a mother with much older children. They remember more of the good stuff than they let on. As our family ages hints to this have periodically surfaced. I say this with a fond smile.
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Good to know, Kathy! I know my sister and I (now both middle aged, yikes how did THAT happen??) fondly remember the good, the bad, and the funny. It really is the stuff memories are made of :-).
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Oh my gosh, as if you read my mind, precisely what happened in this household tonight with the teenage one !
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Some of these are my OWN memories from childhood ;-). See, you really don’t ever forget!
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The things we do for our kids…
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With little to no thanks! My mom was visiting us recently, and as I was making scrambled eggs with smoked salmon for their breakfast as a treat, she asked me if they had any idea how lucky they were that I would do that on a school morning. Of course they don’t!! Little sh*ts ;-). But of course, I love them with all my heart.
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Yup. Of course I clearly remember both the time I told my son he was an asshole AND the time I actually slapped him (going against all my beliefs). He deserved both.
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Wait…was it the same day? ;-). They usually do deserve it. I remember my mother calling me a bitch once. I thoroughly deserved that for sure.
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No. Different days. He deserved it more often than he got it. Me? I never deserved it!
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Yes, how true…and grandma times ARE the best….now that I am one and the sweetest words are – “mom, can I live with grandma?”
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I suppose what goes around comes around, right? (Tell me I’m right!)
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Of course you’re right!!
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Love Love Love! I was cracking up reading these! Well documented!
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A truism of motherhood, I think. I’m sure my own mother could add a fair number to my list!
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Spot on!
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Thanks!
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Yep kids are our parent’s revenge for being so ungrateful to our own parents OMG
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Most of the time I don’t mind, it’s just there are those times, where you’re bending over backward to do something nice and oooooooh, you just want to smack the snark right out of them. WE call it the “cookie conversation” in our house. If you ask for a cookie and I give you one, don’t ask for two cookies! Just say ‘thanks!’–but I suppose it is the nature of kids to always try to get more. After all, they never know when you’re going to be so hungover you just give in…
Just me? ;-).
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Ohhh, I have been saying (jokingly for many years although I may have meant it as a child I guess) about how I never had a Big Yellow Teapot toy, I read through the post laughing and agreeing with it all until I got to the Barbie dream house bit – I hope my Mum has always taken my ‘moaning’ in a good way now!
Great post, so accurate!
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I’m 47 and I still moan to my mother about never having a Barbie Dream House. She knows I’m just teasing her.
Mostly 😉
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