Sorry I’ve Been A Shitty Friend: A Multiple Choice Form Letter

Dear (fill in name of friend here),

How are you? It’s been way too long, I know. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of you and then said to myself, I should really (call/write/at least click like on your vacation photos) but I’m sure you know how it goes. No matter how organized I am, it seems like (life/the news/a hangover) is always getting in the way. It’s so true what they say. Time sure does have a habit of flying when you’re (procrastinating/bemoaning the state of humanity/binge watching Better Call Saul), doesn’t it?

Funny thing is, your name came up just the other day. Someone asked me, “Hey, how’s (fill in name of friend here)? (He’s/She’s) got to be almost (ready to move/ready to have a baby/done with school), right? And it really drove home how long it’s been since I (emailed/tweeted/tagged you in a photo)!

I’m so sorry I missed your (birthday/anniversary/relative’s funeral), I really have no excuse other than the fact that I am spending far too much time (arguing with strangers on the internet/drowning my sorrows in Pinot Noir/in the midst of an existential breakdown). Most days it seems all of my time is taken up by (numb shock/carpooling/debating the continued existence of humankind). I keep thinking things are going to settle down in the next few months, at least enough to (stop refreshing Twitter incessantly/clean my house/remember my kids birthdays), but who knows? Crazy world we live in, right??

And here we are half way through the year already! It seems like yesterday (the world was normal/school started/you moved). Time really does go by quickly. Did I say that already? Lol. Oh, God. I really have to stop using (texting/Snapchat/emoji) abbreviations before I lose all ability to (speak/reason/write) coherently!

But hey, (fill in name of friend), listen. You should know that despite how bad I’ve been at keeping in touch, I’m totally (stalking you on Instagram/following your exploits on FaceBook/relying on what my mom tells me). But it’s nice to get a (letter/email/social media comment longer than 140 characters) sometimes, isn’t it? Despite my (radio silence/passive aggressive comments/emoji reduction correspondence) I do think of you often and wonder how everyone’s doing.

So, in case you’re wondering, it’s not you! It’s (me/Brexit/Trump/Camus level existentialism). I really do feel bad about not keeping in touch, though. Honest!

Anyway, hope you’re all (well/sane/not contemplating the meaning of life from a ledge). Please keep me up to date. And let’s not let this long go by again!

All the best!

(Fill in your name here)

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177 thoughts on “Sorry I’ve Been A Shitty Friend: A Multiple Choice Form Letter

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  1. Ooh. I don’t suppose it would be good form to send this link to my friend by way of getting in touch after a long silence, would it? It would be ironic, yes, but not good form. Still, I’d hate NOT sharing this! So, what the heck, I will!

    Liked by 8 people

  2. I guess we are all Shi**y friends sometimes. I have two friends I’ve known since grade school who have literally saved my life! And I’ve never done 1/100 of what I should do to repay them. But I try to help when they call.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Oh jeez, no problem! I’m not an ‘unfollow’ if you don’t reply to everything or in a specific timeframe type of person. The ‘rules’ and expectations in this community are sometimes a little uptight for my liking, and don’t account for people having lives outside of the blogosphere! Just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed this 🙂

        Like

  3. Sometimes you just don’t know what to say to a friend after a long time of not talking. I love this template. Definitely speaks to my situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is tough–because I live overseas, a lot of my communication is done via computer and email as opposed to phone calls. That definitely makes it easier to grovel when I screw up–but, it also makes the excuse for NOT keeping in touch harder to buy. Sometimes, if it’s worth it, you’ve got to embrace the awkwardness and come out on the other side, I think. But it’s not easy!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this. We all go thru shitty friend phases Right? Some worse then others, some forever long.

    What an awesome sarcastic template that really is able to be perfect for anyone!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: TONI
    1. I did see it, and I thought, hey! I’ve written about almost every one of these things! But, putting my ego aside, I’m thrilled it’s getting noticed. Thanks for thinking of me and sending it along!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So easy to get caught up in our day to day lather, rinse, repeat. Important to take time for friends too–even if it’s just sending them a link that makes them (laugh/think/smile).

      Like

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