You know there’s that famous Malcolm Gladwell “it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something” thing?
Well, here’s a partial list of things, which, by that criteria, I feel like I’m an expert in.
Right-side outing socks
Flushing un-flushed toilets
Finding ways to say “no”
Avoiding making phone calls
Trying to figure out who benefits if the whole earth being a sphere thing was, indeed, a hoax.
Putting fitted sheets on the wrong way first
Turning everything into a ‘lesson’
Making small talk
Refereeing arguments about socks
Wasting time on FaceBook/Twitter
Extracting dirty underwear from dirty pants
Listening to stories about video games
Shouting “close your (fill in screen name here)!”
Making sure the toilet seat is down before I pee
Growing a human being
Finding ways to read my book instead of having sex (KIDDING, HONEY!!)
Saying “I just sat down!”
Filling water glasses
Wondering where the time went
Saying “I wonder where the time went.”
Obsessively checking a bank account
Fretting over credit card bills
Resenting the two above
Trying to find logic in places where logic does not exist
Saying “I love you” (maybe not 10,000 hours, but surely 10,000 times)
Being a mother
Hating what I write
Wearing my heart on my sleeve
Forgetting why I’m standing in a room
Forgetting what else should probably go on this list.