49 Things I’ve Learned in 49 Years

  1. No matter how hard I try, whenever I dress “up” I always end up looking a little bit like Joan Jett.
  2. I’m never going to be delicate. Or subtle.
  3. Before the internet, I wasn’t aware of just how many truly batshit crazy people there are in the world.
  4. You’re never too old to have colored hair.
  5. You’re either going to feel older than you are, or younger. There is no Goldilocks age.
  6. NYC is the best city in the world and I’ll fight you if you say differently.
  7. Never apologize for the space you take up.
  8. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent (thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt)
  9. History is only half what’s taught. The other half is what’s not.
  10. Mourning is not reserved for death. Ideas and dreams, places and times–they can all be mourned too.
  11. It’s not just okay to say no, it’s imperative.
  12. It’s ok not to be the same person you were at 20, or 30, or 40, but there should be pockets of permanence you take with you from persona to persona, like a rubber-band snap of who you are .
  13. You can never have too many notebooks.
  14. Manage your own damn self.
  15. Modern life has far too many wires, chargers and cables.
  16. Sometimes the rhythm really is going to get you.
  17. It’s always the right time to stick to your principles.
  18. Trying to recreate anything is an exercise in futility.
  19. I am not missing out on anything by not camping.
  20. I’ve hurt people in my life, but overall, I’ve helped more than I’ve hurt, and that’s not nothing.
  21. You can’t control others. The best you can do is manage your own reactions to them.
  22. What I lack in singing talent I make up for in volume and enthusiasm.
  23. You can never have too much leopard print–just don’t wear it all at once.
  24. Changing with someone is a glorious thing. Changing for someone is a recipe for disaster.
  25. It really does go by fast. All of it.
  26. Don’t let your taste or your wardrobe be dictated by someone else telling you what you should or shouldn’t be wearing/doing.
  27. Bikinis are way more comfortable. No one you care about is talking about your ass.
  28. Most people create solutions for problems that don’t exist because it keeps them busy or because it makes them feel useful.
  29. It’s ok not to finish the book you’re not enjoying–even if it’s the one everyone else loves.
  30. Going to bed when you’re tired is a beautiful thing. So what if it’s only 9:00?
  31. Everyone should learn to drive a manual car before an automatic.
  32. Learning (or re-learning) things as an adult sucks. That’s no excuse not to do it.
  33. If my biggest accomplishment in life is raising two respectful, woke, contributing members of society, I’m ok with that.
  34. Find your line in the sand.
  35. Happiness is overrated, but contentment is underrated. Don’t confuse the two.
  36. It’s ok not to have a passion.
  37. People don’t care, talk, or think about you nearly as much as you think they do.
  38. Know your stuff before you argue with strangers on the internet.
  39. The hard things are usually the ones you end up appreciating the most.
  40. Journeys don’t need to be epic to count.
  41. Rosé is a drink for all seasons
  42. Listening is active, not passive
  43. For every name in the history books, there are a hundred just as important that weren’t included.
  44. What you know is just the surface. Scratch it. Dig a bit. There’s a whole world teeming just below and it’s gorgeous.
  45. Never self-diagnose on the internet.
  46. Things are never fair, no matter how hard you try to make them.
  47. Always hold the door for the person behind you.
  48. My experiences don’t rely on someone else’s validation to make them true.
  49. The patriarchy is overdue for smashing.





11 Comments Add yours

  1. I know this was a good post because I wanted to respond to most of your points. Happy Birthday, or if it’s not your birthday, Happy anyway.

    One thing I’ve learned is that other people are pretty good at pretending they don’t see I’m bald. Believe it or not, that gives me hope that they can also ignore other differences between people.


    1. WandC(D) says:

      Thank you. 49 glorious years ;-). I always think it’s ok to notice differences, it’s just not ok to make assumptions based on those differences–plus, I think it’s important to acknowledge we all exist on a spectrum–we all have a unique set of characteristics that make us who we are. How boring the world would be if we were all the same, right?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes of course. Noticing a-ok. But treating someone differently because of it, not necessarily. What is really funny is little kids. They are not at all subtle in their reactions. I wish they would just ask. I would tell them, I had to take a special medicine. It made me better but it also made my hair come out. It will grow back pretty soon! I’d rather tell them than wonder what their parents say.


  2. Happy birthday and may I add, there are 49 reasons for me to love this post . More power to you.


  3. Also since I’ve never been to NYC , I’ll take your word for it. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m 29 and I can relate to some of the things you’ve learned as I have learned them as well. Especially “#21. You can’t control others. The best you can do is manage your own reactions to them.”


  5. Anonymous says:

    Definitely 19….I could not agree more!


  6. Kirsty Rowan says:

    What a great list!


  7. Looks like pink wine! I love pink wine! Cheers! Wine education🥂


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