19 Things I’ve Learned in 19 Years of Marriage

If heart disease is the silent killer, passive aggressiveness is the silent marriage killer. It is astonishing how much rage a toothpaste tube or coffee mug on the side of the sink can induce. There really aren’t that many hills worth dying on, choose your trenches wisely, carefully, and slowly. No one listens as much…

Nine People You’ll Meet During a Pandemic

Half-Dressed Hilda If a mullet is business in the front, party in the back, Hilda is the work-from-home equivalent. From the neck up it’s pearls, makeup and softly styled hair, but below that beaded necklace? Hilda is a hot, sloppy, gloriously comfortable mess. She hasn’t worn a bra for weeks. She can’t remember the last…

The 12 days of Housework

On the first day of Housework my true love gave to me A shower with privacy On the second day of Housework, my true love gave to me 2 peaceful siblings and A shower with privacy On the third day of Housework, my true love gave to me 3 bathrooms clean 2 peaceful siblings and A shower…

Prayers for the Recently Moved

To Mazu, goddess of the seas, hear my plea for calm waters because I’m not 100% sure I filled out the insurance claim properly and we are all desperately sick of wearing the same clothes we’ve been wearing for the past twelve weeks. To St. Maersk of the Shipping, hear my prayer: May our shipment…