Sitting over here on my pretty Danish perch, watching headline after headline unfurl across my television and computer screens, I have come to conclusion that the US is suffering from a bad case of The Ironies.
Maybe there’s has always been a low-grade ironic fever simmering just below the surface. When you have a country as vast, as diverse, as divided as the United States, there’s always going to be a bit of irony floating about. But this latest outbreak, a few decades–if not centuries– in the making, is threatening to reach epidemic proportions. It’s going to take a lot of work to keep it in check if the country wants to avoid a full-scale quarantine. A breath of fresh air and a hearty dose of common sense is a good place to start, but those measures may no longer be enough to contain the problem. Before any of that though, there needs to be some accountability. Just like a twelve step program, the country needs to recognize it has an irony problem.
Hello, I am the United States of America and I have an irony issue.
In Florida, a seven year -old boy walks by himself to the park. In Arizona, a nine year-old accidentally shoots and kills her instructor while he is teaching her how to shoot an Uzi. The mother of the seven year-old is arrested. There is something terribly upside down about a society that questions the safety of a seven year old going to the park but not a nine year old learning how to shoot a weapon designed by the Israeli military. It’s almost like a death row pardon, two minutes too late
You can’t escape a certain loud and well-funded segment of the US who campaign tirelessly to keep the government out of their personal business. Less government, more personal responsibility. Unless of course you’re talking about the reproductive rights of 51% of the population. Then there is clamoring for the government to step in with both booted feet. It’s almost like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
Back in June, The Supreme Court decided that a privately held corporation could hold religious views. The Hobby Lobby is now able to play pick n mix with the law by restricting access to birth control for its employees. But wait. The personal belief system of this particular corporation extends only to its female employees. IUDS, which prevent pregnancy, are no longer covered. Vasectomies, which also prevent pregnancies, are a-ok. It’s almost like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife
When there is more vitriol over whether or not a school should be peanut free than there is about whether a Big Box store should be gun free, then you have to scratch your head and wonder. It’s almost like a free ride when you’re already there
When you are bombarded with movies and video games which regularly feature big busted women, often almost caricature like in their buxomness, yet a woman nursing her baby in public is still found offensive, you have to wonder what is going on. It’s almost like a black fly in your Chardonnay
When things have gotten so out of hand that folks can’t tell the difference between real headlines and satirical ones, when Facebook is toying with using a ‘satire’ tag, when things are so confused and befuddled that you read a headline and have to do a double take to see where it comes from, well then, you know the irony levels are off the charts. It’s like rain on your wedding day
Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?
A little too ironic, yeah I really do think.