Wine and Cheese (Definitions): Vacation Edition

airport securityAirport Security (noun): Making sure that you have all possible necessities when traveling with small children including extra clothes, snacks, entertainment, fully charged electronics, first aid, Tylenol. And wine. As in: Remember that time Johnny threw up all over us right before take off?

Beating the Clock (verb):  The exasperating habit of males to make good time and beat the estimated time of arrival stated by the GPS, often at the expense of stopping for restroom breaks, car sickness or any non-catastrophic event which requires stopping the car. As in: Can’t you just wait until we get there? I’m making good time.

Bedphoria (noun): The immense sense of pleasure derived from sleeping in one’s own bed after a long absence. As in: I woke this morning with a sense of bedphoria. Bedphoria is usually immediately followed by Vacation Hangover

Excess Baggage Allowance (noun): The justification of the inevitable five to ten pounds you gain while on vacation. As in: These American portions are going to lead to a lot of excess baggage. See also Excess Baggage Fees (noun): the increased exercise and decreased caloric intake necessary to counteract excess baggage allowance. As in: These excess baggage fees are going to kill me. 

Gearing Up (verb):  The act of packing your running shoes, resistance bands and work-out gear though everyone knows you have no intention of really using them. As in: I’m gearing up to make sure I don’t have to pay any excess baggage fees this vacation.


GPS (Great Parental Shout-Down) (noun): When one parent screams at the other for failing to read the map correctly, talking over important navigational device directions or using unclear voice or hand directions before an upcoming exit usually resulting in a 15-20 minute delay in arriving at destination. As in: WTF? Can’t you say “go left” instead of pointing??”

Jet Lag (noun): The unaccountable habit of children on vacation waking prior to 5 am regardless of direction of travel. As in: How come I have to wake my kids up on school days but on vacation they are up before the sun?

Keeping Up Appearances (verb): The art of only posting select, highly edited photos from your vacation. As in: Everyone else has so much fun on vacation, I’ve got to keep up appearances.

Pay off (noun): The realization that your children are old enough that you can once again read a book at the beach. As in: It’s about time.

Sand/which (noun): The piles of unidentifiable dirt and detritus which pool at the bottom of bags, pockets and socks. Also, beach sand with parasitic properties. As in, the sand which is everywhere.

Travel Visa (verb) : The act of paying off your credit card in full so that you can max it out on vacation. As in: I’m off to Target with my travel visa. Not to be confused with Visa Waiver

laundry woman

Vacation Hangover (noun): The pounding headache which accompanies the post-holiday realization that the house is dirty, there is no food in the refrigerator and there are seventeen loads of laundry waiting to be done. As in: My head hurts just thinking about all the laundry we’ll have after two weeks away.

Vacation Parenting (verb): The act of reversing all normal rules and regulations while on vacation. Usually goes hand in hand with Buyer’s Remorse which comes when trying to reinforce original rules when back from holiday. As in: What was I thinking?

Visa Waiver (noun): The conscious avoidance of  viewing your post-holiday credit card statement until the last possible moment. As in: Ugh, I don’t even want to know how much I spent at Target. 

Wine and Cheese (Doodles) (noun/plural): The preferred nourishment while on vacation. Instantaneously resulting in extra baggage allowance and often necessitating excess baggage fees. But usually in the end, still worth it.




13 thoughts on “Wine and Cheese (Definitions): Vacation Edition

Add yours

    1. Most of us have been there. Or so I tell myself. I’d hate to think I had the only child that vomited right before take off….and some splashed on the shoe of the woman behind us….and we had not packed any spare clothes….on a four hour flight. ;-).


  1. Love it Dina!! Christer couldn’t stop laughing over the beating the clock. I’m dreaming of the payoff…. One day!! Let me know when you are ready to start working on the excess baggage 🙂


Leave a Reply to dhonour Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

NY Political Mom

I'm a mom. I'm political. Give me coffee or give me death.

Book Jotter

Reviews, news, features and all things books for passionate readers

THIS IS US… a colorful, collaborative, collection of truth-tellers, soul-sharers, magic makers and game shakers. All that have a unique story to tell, angle to take and position they stand strongly behind.

D.E. Haggerty

Writer, Blogger, Book Addict

PRS Consulting

What you need to know about roofing


a performative documentary project based on letters to the editor of Ms., 1972-1980

Brizzy Mays Books and Bruschetta

Predominately Books But Other Stuff Too

The Happy Traveler

Seeking to read the pages of Earth's Book.

only the jodi

write. rewrite. typewrite.

%d bloggers like this: